Tuesday, June 13, 2017

April 5th- Daily Autism Post- Obsessive Nature and Relationship with Dad

Aspies tend to be very focused on and very good at particular things. In my experience, tech and video games are a pretty common one. Dexter and Shawn definitely fall into this category. Tonight was a very typical night. One way that Shawn and Dex bond is Dex getting to watch Dad play. He learns a lot, they get to be together, and this is how Dex decompresses. This video makes me smile for two reasons. First, this is Dex just being Dex. He’s talking through everything. He’s Shawn’s commentator. (And bossy!) And second, this is Shawn being Shawn. This is overwhelming. Dex is loud, bossy, touching his screen, hovering in his space, and relentless in his questions. This is a one minute video but this went on for easily 30-45 minutes. However, Shawn always puts the needs of the kids before his own. Most parents do that, I think. But for him, it can be hard to handle that much stimulation. Shawn is what makes me see that Dex can have a normal life. (Ok… I wouldn’t call our family normal. That might be pushing it.) Shawn finds ways to manage his struggles and be an amazing Dad.
All of our kids adore Shawn, but especially Dexter. He knows that Dad relates to him and understands how he feels. I look at this video and see two people who love and understand each other, doing normal father and son stuff, and just being guys. Same thing as everyone else, just done in a slightly different way. That’s Asperger’s.
So…
The bad… Dexie will dominate a conversation. (Or completely ignore that someone is trying to engage in one with him.) He will remain fixated on the same subject, tell you things you already know, and continue talking to you even if you aren’t interested because sometimes he doesn’t realize you aren’t interested and sometimes, he just doesn’t care that you aren’t.
The good… He will learn EVERYTHING about a subject. His vocabulary isn’t typical of an 8 year old in the subjects he fixates on. He’ll talk about things that I have to look up or ask Shawn about because I don’t know where he gets things like CPUs, pyromancers, mods, accurate statistics on the size of blue crabs, that lightening is hotter than the sun, or how high tsunami waves are. His desire to know things has gotten stronger as he’s gotten older. I love seeing where his brain takes him and where I get to wander with it. 💙




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