Tuesday, June 13, 2017

April 8th- Daily Autism Post- The Post Where I called My Kid an Assol

Ok, I'm going to be real for a minute... but maybe not politically correct so if you don't want to be offended, this post may not be for you.
There is a fine line between Asperger's and asshole. Dex can't help having Asperger's. However, he can help being an asshole. When you mess up, you apologize. I don't care if you are on the spectrum or not. You right your wrongs. This video is from last year. Dex had refused to do homework. When that happens, I want it to come home. It. Will. Get. Done. He made an apology, and we came up with a solution (that we still use!) to help prevent it from happening again. For more serious incidents, I will take him in to make apologies in person. We've clean messes from meltdowns, written apologies, taped ripped papers... This is so important. So often I'd rather shrink away and pretend something didn't happen and let it blow over, but I want him to know that's not an option. We make things right. We own up to our mistakes and are responsible for our actions. This also helps teach him why it's important for him to work to control his brain and his emotions.
The bad. He can be a beast. When I pick a battle like this, I will win because he has to be a decent human being but it may take a long time. It's frustrating and can be embarrassing. He's stubborn.
The good. He understands that his brain doesn't always cooperate, but he's also learned that his actions are his... the good and the bad. He's made huge progress in preventing meltdowns and calming down quickly when they do happen. He also has gotten good at apologizing when he's done something he knows is wrong. We've gotten here with persistence, consistency and amazing teachers and administrators who work with me as a team rather than against me. And they forgive and love him. They make Dexter feel loved even at his worst. That is key. He's not defined by his worst moments. So much thanks to Megan Dolphens Pick for weathering so much of his worst and loving him when he felt unlovable. Last year could have destroyed my son, but you didn't give up even when you probably wanted to. He came out of it stronger and more capable. I'll never be able to thank you for that. ❤️

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